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About Osijek

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Hooking up should be fun, not stressful.

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First off, I’m a Banderillero, which means I’m all about that bullfighting life. But today? Today was a whole different rodeo. I hit the streets, and let me tell ya, walking down Trg Dr. Franje Tuđmana, I felt like a celebrity. People were staring, probably thinking, “Who’s this dude with the fancy outfit?” I mean, I looked good, but c’mon, I’m just trying to get to the arena!

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